Sex & The Shitty

Berlin: Even the Pizzaguy is a Leather Daddy Drag Queen

2009-05-07T22:49:00.004+02:00

"Pizza Pimps" is a pizza place & fast food delivery service here in Berlin! Check out the super cute website!!! www.pizza-pimps.de

It's Pizza Time!!!

This Week's "Spotted" & "Spotted Again!"

2009-05-04T17:46:00.011+02:00

Spotted:
Jamie Babbit, Director of cult film "But I'm a Cheerleader!"
(photo of Jamie Babbit filming "But I'm a Cheerleader")

Who: Jamie Babbit
Where: "Que Pasa?" Mexican restaurant next to Goerlitzer Bahnhof in Kreuzberg with nonstop cocktail happy hour
When: Thursday, April 30 between 11:00 p.m. and 12:45 a.m.
Doing What: Sipping cheap cocktails with a group of gal friends
By who: Bambi Bradshaw & her anonymous P.R. person
Did You Know? : Babbit also wrote the script for a "Gilmore Girls" episode!

Spotted Again:
Faggot Photographer Tillmanns Likes His Sunday Sushi

(photograph by Tillmanns)
Who: Wolfgang Tillmanns
Where: Sushi Restaurant at the corner of Adalbertstrasse and Oranienstrasse in Kreuzberg with nonstop Sushi happy hour.
When: 8:00 p.m., Sunday, May 3.

After a weekend of this,

(photograph by Tillmanns)
there's nothing he likes better than a little sushi to wash down all that currywurst!

Q: What do Jamie and Wolfgang have in common besides being gay, artists, & living in Berlin?
A: Our new trend of the week:
Nonstop happy hours!

Nacht Zum 1 Mai: APRIL RECAP

2009-04-30T18:05:00.007+02:00

As it is the last night of April, we're recapping a couple important April 2009 events!

1. Zoo Drama on Good Friday!

On Karlfreitag (Good Friday), Mandy went to the Berlin Zoo like many other Berliners to enjoy the perfect Easter weekend weather. Yet her motives for going were unlike anyone else. Out of nowhere, the 32 year old mother of 1 climbed over the fence, held her nose and dove 3 meters down into the water of the polar bear cage... during their feeding time!

(She looks like she's having the time of her life)

„Sie rief noch so etwas wie ,Yeepee’ und schwamm lachend auf den Mittelfelsen zu. Dort stand Eisbärin Katjuscha.
"She called out something like "Yippee" and swam smiling to their little rocky island off the water. There stood the Polar Bear named Katjuscha. She put her arm around the animal as if they were old buddies.

She had her pullover ripped off and was bit in the shoulder before Zookeepers rescued her in front of a crowd of shocked Zoo Tourists. An ambulance drove her away.

The days following the event, the BZ (Berlin's Größte Zeitung) reported on the full event, under headlines such as "Mandy's Life Fell to Pieces When Love Left Her," "Mandy's Life Before The Jump," and "The Polar Bear Who Attacked: Still Wearing Mandy's Pullover."
Good heavens!

2. Jaana J.'s Birthday!

Jaana J., the Finnish woman who has been living in Berlin's Tegel Airport since the beginning of December, celebrated her 41st birthday on April 15th in Tegel Airport, of course.
"No, this isn't my birthday," Jaana said. "This is Jaana's birthday."
She lived in Tegel airport for over two months before anyone noticed she was living there.
"Jaana is dead. She died in a hospital in Finland. I never want to go back."

"Every morning she goes into the airport bathroom, puts on her make-up, cleans herself and straightens her clothes. With her blonde hair tied neatly in a bun and dressed in black, she looks quite elegant as she wanders around the terminal buildings." (Bild)

She says she dreams of Australia...

BEST OF Emma Bell AW '09

2009-04-28T23:51:00.005+02:00

Out of Emma Bell's entire collection shown at London Fashion Week, Bambi picked out her absolute favorites to share with you:

Both happened to be orange with pissing animals on them. SO FABULOUS.

Alien Love: ANTM 12 Gets Extra Terrestrially Lezzie

2009-04-28T21:53:00.008+02:00

In Continuation of the ANTM Cycle 12=Alienesque Article Last Month...

Fellow Top Model Alien, Celia, 25, says
"Tyra, this woman is amazing, she's an entity, she's a force, she's... EXTRA TERRESTRIAL! OH MY GOD!"
in Episode 1 of Cycle 12, AKA the Alien Cycle.

Casting Conversation between Tyra and Allison, Alien Model #1...
Tyra: There's one thing that you say is beautiful, and it's unfair that you've never had one. What is that?
Allison: NOSEBLEEDS
Tyra: I used to get them all the time as a child.
Allison: JEALOUSSSSS!!!

And did we mention, these two Top Model Aliens are actually in love WITH EACH OTHER?

+Allison to Celia: (with her arm around her waist flirtatiously) "You have a GREAT skeleton!"
+Allison, "I'm in love with Celia. I'm so in awe of her sometimes. Woah."
+Celia, "Allison is like the epitome of LOVE, harmony, you know..." (Then she smiles dreamily)

German Girls Go Mental For Zac Efron @ Potsdamer Platz!

2009-04-27T14:44:00.006+02:00

Zac Efron arrived to Tegel Airport here in Berlin this last Saturday, April 25 to a crowd of crazed teenieboppers!

Then yesterday, Sunday April 26, at 2.45 p.m., the teenie-star of High School Musical appeared on the red carpet from his limo at Potsdamer Platz to promote his new film 17 Again.

We were prepared to use violence to get front row pics for you readers but Saturday night's consumption of various poisons kept us on the down-low all day. The next time Zac Efron comes to town we won't miss it.

The Berlin subway TV news reports Efron saying into the microphone at Sony Center at 3.12 p.m. yesterday, over a crowd of high pitched screams, "Die deutschen Maedchen sind wunderbar!"

He also said, "Ich komme bald wieder nach Berlin."
(I'm coming back to Berlin again soon.)
AND HOW!

& In the true style of a teenie star... he knows how to get his SCANDAL on!!!

(he's on the right)

Recommended Berlin This Weekend! 24.4 & 25.4

2009-04-23T17:43:00.004+02:00

Friday night, April 24th
Don't miss the premiere of "Nullen und Einsen," a queer musical film about the
first computer programmer, Ada Lovelace, and a passion for mathematics, science, & magic!
The film premieres amongst a room full of artists, mathematicians and scientists showing us their favourite wonders, Science Fair Style. Bring your own booze. There will be a cupcake & popcorn booth.

Starts at 7 p.m. SHARP!

Saturday Night, April 25th (3 options!)
1.
First off, go by Kotti Shop for Gooey on the Inside's Berlin Fake Slumber Party Party for some drowsy giggliness! Holly Fluxx & Oliver of the Sky will be performing as well as other Aussies, New Zealanders, Nederlanders, & Brits. Katie Conxita & Jobot (super super/tiny klang) are gonna play the lullabies!

"DRESS UP SLEEPY
€2 entry, or free if you are pyjama wearerz
RAINBOW STARBRITE ON THE BIG SCREEN TOO!!!
and a bar and candy 4 hunguszzz + midnight snaxxxxx"

2.

Go on, wear your P.J.'s (or magically turn them into another costume) and head on over to TAPE club around midnight for Bakelit, "L.A. GEAR theme, slutty cocktail and kissing booth with Tonspion, Dj Persona non grata, YoMa, Dj Blowjob & more!" There's gonna be a cotton candy machine!

3.
If you're still alive by whatever o'clock it is, Gloria Viagra is having her 21st Birthday Party at Monster Ronson's (Warschauerstrasse, 34) and chances are it will probably still be going on. Rumors are Sherry Vine, Peaches & maybe even Nina Hagen are gonna come by to celebrate the occasion. Paaaaaaaaarty!

Recommended Friday Night, April 17

2009-04-17T00:07:00.005+02:00

Noisy Pig & Mosh Mosh Record Release Party

featuring "The Fabulous Little Shop of Fabulous Little Things" by Katie Conxita & Snacky Happiness...

There's been a few of rumours going around about what exactly will be sold at the little sweet shop. They said to simply look a little closer at the flyer for some clues...

Guess we'll see & find out!!! Lovin' a good mystery...

Alien Chic Gone Over the Rainbow

2009-04-08T17:27:00.007+02:00

Sent in by one, "Babes," in response to all the Alien Chicdom of Spring 2009 you have seen reported in recent posts.
(Check out Babes in her band's music video here).

Gaylien: Finally a perfect word to describe Tyra's leading men Mr. Jay, Mrs. Jay, and yes, even noted fashion photographer/perv and a half Nigel Barker.

Please Help: The Death of G20 Protester

2009-04-08T16:38:00.004+02:00

We just received this letter:

"Some people have started a call out for demonstrations at UK Embassies at 12 noon this Friday, 10 April, to call for charges of murder for the officer who is reponsible for the death of Ian Tomlinson at the G20 in London.

There is a new video just in the last few hours (this is being posted now at 23:13, European time), proving that an unprovoked attack by a masked UK policeman is responsible for the death of an innocent bystander during the G20 meeting in London a few days ago.

A quick search on Google for the name of the killed man:
Ian Tomlinson
...shows that as of now no international press at all is covering this story. Please forward this immediately to every contact you can. We need to make a huge issue of this immediately. All anti-repression groups should look at this, and the guilty officer needs to be immediately
charged with murder.

One proposal for immediate action is to write to the UK Independent
Police Complaints Commission:
http://www.ipcc.gov.uk/index/complaints.htm

Customer Services : 08453 002 002 (press 1 at prompt -9.00am - 5.00pm)
Switchboard: 08453 002 002 ( press 2 at prompt - 9.00am - 5.00pm)
Mincom: 020 7404 0431 Fax: 020 7404 0430 email: enquiries@ipcc.gsi.gov.uk

While reformist, this tactic has been successfully used in California to
charge an officer with murder in the last few months, and without
massive complaints, he would have gone free.

please, do something now against this murder during G20 in London.
See you on the streets this Friday!

****************************************************************************

FURTHER INFO:
UK Guardian articles:
G20 police assault revealed in video:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/blog/2009/apr/07/g20-protest-death-police-assault
Footage shows Ian Tomlinson, the man who died during G20 protests in
London, being attacked from behind (by masked police)

De Menezes taught the Met nothing:
Footage of a police assault on Ian Tomlinson at the G20 demo – moments
before he died – suggests their tactics are dangerously wrong
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/libertycentral/2009/apr/07/civil-liberties-g20-police-assault-ian-tomlinson

Further articles:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/g20-police-assault-ian-tomlinson

G20 activists want public inquiry
Page last updated at 10:38 GMT, Sunday, 5 April 2009 11:38 UK
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7984234.stm
..."In a statement, a group calling themselves G20 Witnesses said: "We
call for a full public inquiry to look into Mr Tomlinson's death and the
police tactics used throughout the G20 protests."...

G20 death man 'had heart attack'
Page last updated at 02:49 GMT, Saturday, 4 April 2009 03:49 UK
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/london/7982855.stm
..."The City of London Police said: "A post-mortem examination found he
died of natural causes."...

***please forward***

Last Week's Protests Against G20 London

2009-04-08T14:10:00.002+02:00

Exactly one week ago from today, an estimated 35,000 protesters marched through the heart of London against the G20 summit meeting:

[ "On Thursday 2nd of April the G20 (or G22) are descending on the city in a Summit to address the current global crisis, and to discuss how to “re-stabilise” the world economy and how to re-write the rules of global Capitalism, whilst thousands of people are losing their jobs and homes on a daily basis.

Amid the biggest police operation to be launched in London for over a decade, many UK wide groups and organisations have joined forces for several days of protests and events starting on Saturday 28th until Thursday 2nd, to show a clear rejection to the G20’s ‘solutions’, as well as to propose ways out to the current economic and social situation that go beyond the ‘logic’ of Capitalism. (Indymedia) ]

Amongst the 35,000 were Trannies Against Greed.

While The Times and The Daily Telegraph try to erase the power of the protesters by only reporting on the so-called silliness of some protesters clothes or slogans (such as Trannies Against Greed), it's almost embarassing if it weren't so scary to repeatedly see through transparent reportage as systematic journalism: opinions exactly where they are expected, putting the status quo right back in order by demeaning (or not even addressing) the importance of masses of other humans saying, "No! We live in this world too and we do not agree."

Throbbing for These Shoes...

2009-04-06T21:38:00.007+02:00

What's the accessory from last season that still has me org-ing?

OH. MY. GOD. FUCK ME!

The Rick Owens dinosaur boot.
Fierce as hell! It's prehistoric & sci-fi at the same time. Most shoes are merely in and then they're out, but some shoes (like this one here) are gonna be fabulous forever... or at least until the next ice age. Paired up with one of Owens' black balaclavas or ski masks? Wait a second while I jerk off! F-ing HOT.

And although I really like this season's sandal:

it admittedly pales in comparison.

Alien Chic Never Ends: Galliano Fall 2009

2009-04-06T01:41:00.007+02:00

This alien chic business has blown up in the past few weeks & we're proud to be on the extra terrestrial bandwagon here at Sex & the Shitty. We really do love outer space.

"So what now?", you ask.

It's gypsy with a sprinkle of sci-fi! It's ...
Galliano gone Space Glam at Paris fashion week Fall 2009! ... A mix of old fashioned gypsy & space goth military!

Not as outer space chic as Balenciaga Spring 2009, but just as Balenciaga was, this is outer space taken in a creative and fresh direction.

I'm swooning over the headpieces.

Record Breaking Cosplay!

2009-04-05T22:35:00.004+02:00

Rutgers University in New Jersey broke the “Where’s Waldo?” record on April 2, when 1,052 students, staff and local community individuals donned the infamous red-and-white striped shirt, matching winter cap, blue jeans and cane.

The goal of the picture book was to find Waldo in a sea of people, like this:

Well, we always knew damn well where Waldo was:

Alien Chic Continues!

2009-04-05T17:58:00.005+02:00

Things have been getting pretty Extra Terrestrial lately! (Like Tyra and Co. !!!)

In lieu of the "Alien Chic" trend of the moment, we can't help but mention the latest Dreamworks film "Monsters VS. Aliens."

It's currently the #1 film in the USA and it's 3-D!
"Susan (the main character, narrarated by Reese Witherspoon) gives voice to the frustrations of romantically anxious young women who also fight against society (and nature’s) gender constraints."

Oh REALLY...?

Pretty, Young, &... Dangerous

2009-04-04T20:04:00.004+02:00

Girl Gang Gets Crazy in Berlin Suburb

Three harmless looking young girls aged 13, 14 and 15 have been arrested by the police in Marzahn, a suburb in the eastern part of Berlin. What for? ...

This past Wednesday (April 1), in a matter of just 6 hours, the girls managed to rob two elderly women, steal a bicycle from a 12 year old, and throw a beer bottle at the head of a 15 year old, who is now in the hospital, when they were finally taken in by the police. What rage!

They're like: "Just kidding! Duh, it's like totally April Fools!!!"

Or maybe they wanted Marzahn to be known for something other than Cindy aus Marzahn, the German comedian?

Other-Wordly Chic

2009-04-04T00:20:00.007+02:00

Here is a special sneak peek at the latest photoshoot by the lovely Katie Conxita and Lorna Peters.

We cant figure out if these models are human or beast. Thats pretty hot.

Fast Food DJ Goes Goldilocks Alien

2009-04-03T20:11:00.006+02:00

Sex & the Shitty readers are getting stalky & we LOVE it!

Last weekend (March 29), a S&theS reader e-mailed this photo of our Fast Food Loving DJ and the guy we are so sure is his boyfriend.
This will be the third photo of them together in 3 months and the 4th recorded S & the S sighting of them together!

Somebody's showing off their serious roots with a ponytail facing the front! How edgy! And alien chic! Like Tyra and her clan! Very Spring 2009!
(But somehow, his medieval chic always seems to shine through! WTF!)

Svetlana Back in Berlin!

2009-04-03T19:52:00.003+02:00

Last weekend Svetlana was seen back in Berlin! Yes, the party girl from the band Prolapse, whose legendary music video is a Sex & The Shitty favourite!

Sources say she flew in from London, but she told me personally she'd just arrived from St.Petersburg. She was seen with a bottle of vodka the entire night.
Her style last Friday evening (March 28th) was very much goth ice princess (from hell) and her friend photographed with her we think looked like a goth Molly Ringwald.

ANTM Cycle 12= Alien Syndrome

2009-03-28T22:25:00.006+01:00

The latest cycle of America's Next Top Model is totally alien chic.

The realization all started when the entire panel was referring to Allison (the original alien) as "alien-esque" and "freak of nature chic... but in a good way!"

We then quickly began to notice an alien trend among the girls chosen this cycle and began to wonder why its just Allison who's getting picked on!

(Top to bottom: Celia, Teyona, London)

Come to think of it, who is she kidding? Tyra is the ultimate Alien!
Can that skin be pulled any tighter???

"Trends of the Night" Feature!

2009-03-24T00:23:00.007+01:00

Party near Jännowitzbrücke's TRENDS, last Saturday March 21, 2009!

Trend: Zebra Print

Trend: Lovey Dovey

Trend: Horny bearded men

Neo-Nazi Shop Cannot Expand!

2009-03-19T23:05:00.010+01:00

"Tønsberg" has opened a new shop in Berlin-Friedrichshain.

Tønsberg is a clothing shop owned by a neo-Nazi supporter putting a lot of money into extreme right-wing groups in Germany and sells the notorious neo-Nazi brand "Thor Steiner" in his shops.
(Here is a really good article about Tonsberg and the Thor Steiner brand in English).

When the Tønsberg shop on Rosa Luxemburg Strasse opened last February 2008, there were numerous demonstrations against it and to this day, every time you pass the shop, the busted and broken windows are still paint bombed with red paint. Outside the shop there is a huge city garbage container saying, "MITTE GEGEN RECHTS."

(Read website "Mitte Gegen Rechts" here, which is constantly updated with information about this situation, from the day the shop opened until now).

We know someone who owns a shop on that street, Rosa Luxemburg Straße, and she told us the entire street and the landlord want them out of there but they've been able to stay this long because of their contract.

Last year, Tønsberg dropped a shop down right in the very center (Mitte) of Berlin for a reason, to be visible from the core of the city.
This year the new plan is to put a shop right in the middle of Friedrichshain, a neighborhood that has a big history of repeated struggle against neo-Nazis.

An insider tells us that there have been a few demonstrations outside the new Friedrichshain shop already and at one of the demos he was at, they were a group of 20 or so people just sitting outside the shop to be visible as an anti-Fascist resistant presence. The police came and were extremely aggressive right from the start. He left when they started to arrest people for no reason. Sick but not surprising.

("The brand also stirred a recent controversy in Berlin after a plainclothes policeman wore a Thor Steinar shirt while on duty at a demonstration to mark the anniversary of Kristallnacht -- the Nazi-orchestrated pogroms that swept Germany on November 9, 1938. Dieter Glietsch, head of police in Berlin, said ignorance of what this brand means is no excuse. 'A police officer walking around wearing Thor Steinar clothes during the anniversary of the pogrom calls for a thorough investigation,' he told the Tagesspiegel newspaper. 'It is not as if in Berlin people don't know what the label stands for.' ")

There's hope, stand against this: In Hamburg, the Tønsberg shop has already been closed down due to demonstrations and the Magdeburg and the Berlin Mitte shops will soon be closed down due court cases that rule the landlord is free to throw them out because they weren't clear about what they were going to sell in their shop.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Join the demo "Kein Kiez Für Nazis!"
This Saturday, March 21 at 12 noon at Boxhagener Platz in Friedrichshain.

Travel Queeries Documentary Finally Out!

2009-03-19T22:20:00.001+01:00

The long-awaited, 4 years in the making documentary film, Travel Queeries, had its screening last night here in Berlin!

"Travel Queeries is a feature-length documentary film that examines the culture, art and activism of radical queers in contemporary Europe."

Last Night's Screening...

Travel Queeries will be having it's International Premiere next week -March 26/27- at the 23rd London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival !!!
Find premiere dates between April '09 and October '09 at other festivals in cities around Europe here.

Check out the extended trailer below:

We heard from the filmmaker herself (pictured below) that she's already at work on a new project! There's no stopping her! With what an amazing piece of artwork and history Travel Queeries is, we can't wait to see what's next.

Fast Food Loving DJ: It is TOTALLY His Boyfriend!

2009-03-19T20:36:00.002+01:00

Well well well,
Our favorite Fast Food Loving DJ was spotted enjoying the first day of Spring in Berlin on Tuesday afternoon at 3:20 p.m. on the corner of Wienerstrasse and Görlitzer Park. He was accompanied by 3 other men, one of which we suspected as his boyfriend 2 weeks ago when they were seen out together, and another which was identified as the Spanish hottie who appeared in a fashion calendar earlier this year:

Rumor has it he also slept with one of Bambi's friend's boyfriends- while they were still together.

Not only was our Fast Food Loving DJ spotted Tuesday in the sunshine, but he was also spotted Wednesday night (yesterday) on Schlesisches Strasse, headed east away from the U-Bahn Schlesisches Tor at 9:50 p.m. by someone who had just left the Travel Queeries screening. Must have been hard for him to walk past those infamous fast food spots on the corner. Even I can hardly turn down Cafe Bagdad when I stroll by and I don't even have an addiction!

He was reportedly alone with the guy from the photo (boyfriends for sure!) and was carrying a giant drum on his back. Please don't tell me he plays tribal drums! Maybe all that tribal techno music from the party "The Politics of Ecstasy Closing Gala" in January went a little too far...

Our Favourite London Girls Release Music Video!

2009-03-19T00:56:00.015+01:00

this is a sex & the shitty MUST SEE!

Sex & The Shitty is proud to share London band Prolapse's first music video for the song, "Yo Mama's Pussy."

The song is all about remembering where you come from! Aww!
Prolapse is: Babes on drums and Svetlana on the mic, check them out here.

Love 'em or hate 'em, its still an obsession, innit

Looking Back: January 31st

2009-03-18T19:45:00.009+01:00

Selected January Party: Saturday January 31
"The Politics of Ecstasy Closing Gala"

Let's talk about it for a moment, shall we?
The location was fabulous, right along the river spree, with a view of the U-Bahn out the window. Nicely lit and nicely decorated. Everyone seemed to be especially fond of the palm trees in the middle of the dancefloor.

Saffron has a simliar pharmacological profile as MDMA.
When asking one of the numerous bars (another plus) for something without alcohol the bartender replied, "Oh yes, I have just the thing for you. Something very special!" He picked up a mystery bottle and poured it into my pineapple juice.
"What is it?," I asked, naturally.
He then replied by telling me I would hardly feel a thing.
Somehow I didn't believe him.
"Take a sip then pay me how much you think that drink is worth."
Fair enough.
I took a sip.
On my way from the bar to where my friends were sitting it already hit me. Felt like cold water running through all my veins and I realized why people were lounged around and passing out on all the peripheries of the party, and why in the center of the dancefloor, a man had been on the floor convulsing like a fish out of water for about an hour nonstop.

All in all: the music was fabulous, the lights were fabulous, the decor was fabulous and, somehow the mis-matched mix of people made it all the more fun! Many danced till 7:45 a.m.

Any scandals? Besides (1) the McDonalds loving DJ spinning records, (2) some guys climbing up onto this giant construction above the DJs, taking off their undies and shaking their booties around 6:30 a.m., (3) a few people totally passed out here and there- one of which is the alleged BFF of McDonalds loving DJ and helped organize the party. He was seen layed out totally gone in full bodysuit and purple face paint (hopefully it was paint)- and (4) the bar selling a special druggie drink,
(5) I also happened to spot, videotape and photograph the 45 year old guy who had woken my friend up in the night (they were on a sex date) pissing onto his own bedroom floor after wetting the bed. Ain't nothin' wrong with a golden shower (even if its just between you and your wooden floor, bedsheets, or furniture), but being 45 and treating your teen sex dates like you've never seen them before after screwing? So immature! Seems it isn't only bedwetting he hasn't outgrown...

I do have a heart enough to not publish the photo here.
YET...

1994 & Mainstream Queerness

2009-03-12T21:00:00.001+01:00

Remember CK One perfume?

It's advertisments were the epitome of 90's heroin-chic and Kate Moss' official debut. It was the "first" unisex perfume and so popular there were designer imposter versions.

As a preteen, a unisex perfume made me think about queerness... That anyone could be attracted to the scent and anyone could wear it was actually a big step outside heterosexual norms. Seeing those ads in my mainstream teen magazine left a bigger impression than I thought.

As a ten year old I contemplated gender and sexuality on new levels and thought androgyny was beautiful and powerful.

It was 1994, the year Blur's sexually ambiguous "Boys and Girls" was at the top of all the charts, "Girls who are boys, Who like boys to be girls, Who do boys like they're girls, Who do girls like they're boys"
Also in '94 "My So-Called Life," shows the first bisexual person on a TV series as a serious and important character (Ricky Vasquez OMG!). The show is now a cult classic.

With the revival of the '90's, CK One's comeback is kind of inevitable, if the company anticipates it with the right steps (like Dr. Martens has). But this time no Kate Moss or Stella Tennant.
This time they're sorta kinda thinkin'... Agyness Deyn. She's already the face of Jean Paul Gaultier's perfume, "Madame" but if Calvin & Jean Paul are OK with her double dating, guess nobody's hurt. Then again, a threesome can usually only work for so long. We'll just have to wait and see what drama arises!

I generally hate perfume, but maybe even I would wear CK One again. Would you? Does it bring back memories?

Köpi's Birthday Dildos- Photo Evidence!

2009-03-12T19:25:00.005+01:00

As promised,
here is an upclose & personal photo of one of the dildos that was for sale amongst the sea of Sternburg Beer at Köpi's 19th Birthday Party last month.

The photo was sent in by Crazy P., a Sex & The Shitty reader mentioned in the Köpi Birthday article, "Köpi's Last Year of Teenagehood Begins!"

Thanks Crazy P!

Looking Back: January 30th

2009-03-12T17:50:00.002+01:00

Select January Party Photos:
Friday January 30

Nothing especially scandalous happened, that we're aware of. Just extreme intoxication, mild drugging, lots of dancing. It was very sweaty as usual and the resident hairdresser was bitchy, sadistic and getting bumped into every second, also as usual. The club should be lucky he doesn't scissor someone in the head, whether accidently or on purpose. Talk about a law suit waiting to happen!

Golddigging and Blackmail?! What a Combo!

2009-03-09T19:23:00.012+01:00

"While your risk is very high, my risks are irrelevant,"

Helg Sgarbi wrote in a letter to the wealthiest woman in Germany, Susanne Klatten - heiress to the BMW fortune - in which he threatened to release a sex tape of them in a Munich hotel if she didn't hand over 229 million euros.

(She doesn't look very happy...)

This woman, married mother of three, was just one of a string of Sgarbi's alleged victims across Europe, who also included the wealthy Countess Verena du Pasquier-Geubels, who was 83 years old at the time of their affair (50 years his senior).

(Somebody's in trouble!)

NOW BABES IS GOING TO JAIL!

He went lurking around Austrian spas looking for rich women, who he would be super sweet to and seduce, then be all, "So, like, anywayz, I was sorta kinda thinkin' you could like lend me a couple HUNDRED mil? Thanxx babe! Luv, Helg."

One of Klatten's payments to Sgarbi was a cardboard box stuffed with 14 plastic folders each with a thousand 500 euro banknotes (7 million euros all together) which was handed over to him in the underground parking garage of a Holiday Inn in Munich! That money was supposedly, umm, going to a family in Florida who he had to pay off for some car accident? Gimme a break!

GOLDDIGGING AND BLACKMAIL?! WHAT A COMBO!

Tillmans' Little Tattle Tale!

2009-03-08T20:42:00.010+01:00

In response to "Spotted at the Gay Bar: Wolfgang Tillmans ," a Sex & The Shitty reader called Bolli wrote in. Thanks Bolli!

The email from Bolli:

OMG! I have seen this guy too! This art-fag I know pointed him out to us in the basement of a gay club in X-berg. He was asleep on a sofa near a techno-blasting speaker.

My boyfriend wrote the name of his art website on his body, hoping to become famous. Later Tillmans woke up and they talked and then he started hitting on some other guy.

Makes us wonder where his long term boyfriend was...

Twink of the Month!

2009-03-08T17:30:00.007+01:00

Mere hours ago we found our Twink of the Month at the Kindl Brauerei 72 hour party, Miss Tipsy's Anniversary Party, "Champagnerama"

We were too drunk to remember to ask for his name, but when we approached him on the dancefloor to congratulate him on being Sex & The Shitty's "Twink of the Month," he just smiled, leaned up against a nearby pillar, and posed for us.

Sex Date Hall of Fame: Markus

2009-03-07T22:54:00.009+01:00

The day Bambi gets to New York City, her best friend pays his first visit to Fist-Ville:

"Hi Bambi,

OMG OMG OMG
We really have to go to NYC together darling. It sounds soooo amazing!!! I can't believe you're there right now! Ach, Berlin is the same still. Nothing special happened yet... except I had some really weird sexdates! I fistfucked for the first time!!! OMG, maybe its TMI but you have to hear this story...

I met this guy Markus on the internet and he seemed to be nice, he had a good body and didn't seem too stupid, he's about 32? So I went there in the middle of the night. He opened the door in JOCKSTRAPS and started to prepare his bed with black latex sheets (omg) THEN asked me if I am experienced in fistfucking.

Me: NO!
Him: Oh, so its your premiere.
Me: Hey, wait a minute, I am not so into this hardcore stuff.
Him: Oh, you will be!
Me: OMG!!!
Him: Its alright, you won't be hurt, but me....

OMG. So he carried out this huge box starting to search for something...
Me: What the hell is in the box???
Him: Find out!

Bambi, it was packed with all this SM-hardcore-stuff: gasmasks, dildos, huge as your arm... I'm really not kidding... I was freaking out.

Then he asked, "Are you drunk?"
Me: Yes, somehow!
Him: I am not so into alcohol, would you mind if I take something else?

Something else????

He fucking set himself up an INJECTION of speed, and was out of his mind... Made me fistfuck him so hard.. and bondage his dick until it was blue!!!!

But then The Worst!!! ... He took out his fake TEETH, so he could give me a better blowjob without teeth!
I was like "UGH!!!! Put them in again, uuuugh!!! I HAVE TO LEAVE!!!"
Him: Do you have a boyfriend???
Me: BYE!!!

My Roommate After I Told Him: Can I have his number, can I have his number??? Pleasssse???

So this was my little date, I'm really getting really afraid of that website!!!!!

Have the best time in New York, I miss you already!

Love,
Me"

Proof That McDonalds-Loving DJ Also Exercises

2009-03-07T19:55:00.018+01:00

Well, the Berlin DJ seen at McDonalds with a huge sack of fast food last month was spotted last night, Friday March 7th, at a party close to Schlesisches Tor in Kreuzberg.

(McDonalds loving DJ on the left. His boyfriend on the right?)

When he later removed his Vuitton stocking hat, he looked very medieval-chic.

Maybe McDonalds just helps to loosen his stool a little?
According to what a party fag friend leaked to us about his alleged private life,
he might not think that's half bad!

When our source left the party at 4:15 a.m., this DJ was still tearing up the dance floor working off all that partially-hydrogenated oil.
Even McDonalds won't kill you if you balance it with a good amount of exercise, water, and stimulants!

M.D.M.A. is A.W.O.L. !

2009-03-07T05:01:00.017+01:00

After last year's surplus (or was it just us?),
There seems to be a real shortage of methylenedioxymethamphetamine 'round these parts lately. Even an official newspaper in Switzerland reported about the current shortage of the drug!

An insider spills,
"The pills at the moment are generally really crappy, don't buy more than a couple at a time from a dealer just in case they're bad. You don't wanna end up with a bunch of shitty pills! Last week I got one and hallucinated for hours and hours, it was filled with shit... none of the good stuff, none at all. When I take E, a bad acid trip is not something I feel I've signed up for. If I wanted that, I would've bought something else!"

YEAH, YOU TELL 'EM! MDMA was first created in the early 1900s here in Germany.
We want our baby back home safe!

Spotted at the Gay Bar!

2009-02-28T21:30:00.004+01:00

Last night at 1:20 a.m. photographer Wolfgang Tillmans was seen at one of our favorite gay bars just next to Kottbusser Tor- u know it.

About 2:00 a.m., he ran out the door of the bar with a guy, beer glass still in hand. Maybe he was taking him home to "photograph" him...

Bambi's Apartment Search Continues...

2009-02-25T21:52:00.008+01:00

As some of you already know, Bambi is on an apartment hunt. Today she has submitted the following to us here at Sex & the Shitty:

"I looked at an apartment in this building today & found it cozily brown.
Finally walls that match the finger marks of the shit stains to come, stumbling up the stairs Sunday morning no where else to wipe it after a good finger fucking in the courtyard downstairs.

Yours,
Bambi"

Computer Love Rendezvous: This Spring!

2009-02-24T23:07:00.002+01:00

I just had the opportunity to see a little sneak preview of the film currently being worked on here in Berlin, "Nullen und Einzen" ("Zeroes and Ones"), a queer musical about Augusta Ada (the first computer programmer) and passion for mathematics, science, and magic.

All I can say is I'm dying for more! Beautiful camera work, costumes, singing and music. This film feels fresh, fun, witty, and intellectual.

"Nullen und Einzen" will be premiering
Friday April 24th at Ausland (Lychener Strasse, 60, Berlin Prenzlauerberg).
Beginning at 19.00, the premiere will be complete with DJ's, booze and performances about math/science/computers.

Sounds like the perfect pre-party!
Another big reason to look forward to spring!
In the meantime, give Kraftwerk's classic a little listen:

Swedish Semladag

2009-02-24T18:22:00.003+01:00

Sifting the powdered sugar on top.

Looks good from on top

Looking Back: January 19th

2009-02-23T23:35:00.002+01:00

Select January Party Photos

Saturday January 19

Köpi's Last Year of Teenagehood Begins!

2009-02-23T22:22:00.002+01:00

Happy 19th Birthday Koepi!

Last Saturday night was Koepi's big birthday bash which left many of us not eating and/or sleeping until Monday.

Besides a sea of Sterni, there were also double-ended dildos for sale!

A friend reported that his roommate (let's call him "Crazy P") was swinging one around in his face all night long. Finally, he'd had enough and shouted,

"For fuck's sake, Stop it! Where the hell did you even get that thing?"
- "Oh, they're selling them downstairs near the bar!"

Naturally on Sunday evening Bambi contacted some sources to confirm the truth about a few things. This is a tidbit of their Skype conversation,

Friend: I haven't slept yet.
Bambi: I heard "Crazy P" bought a double ended dildo at Köpi party!
Friend: Yeah, I saw them... Or at least I remember being confronted with a dildo
Bambi: Were they home made?
Friend: I don't know. My memory is a bit blurry.
Bambi: Are you going to sleep soon?
Friend: I guess.

The Academy Awards: Snoozetown... as usual

2009-02-22T23:11:00.002+01:00

A quick report over the Oscars, which is even more than this event deserves.

Once again I am disturbed by how pathetic men's fashion on the red carpet is. A suit? Sure, there can be many styles of suits, but come on! Everyone is looking at the women's dresses, which are mostly equally as boring. The gendered clothing in this case is extreme, disturbing, and perhaps worst of all snooze material. *Yawn* MERYL & TILDA WERE OF COURSE THE ONLY DECENT ATTENDEES!

Despite hating this event,
I chose two dresses as the best dresses of the lot and they coincidentally turned out to be from the same designer, Elie Saab.
One was worn by Angelina Jolie and the other by Evan Rachel Wood:

The two runners up were:
(Melissa George in Dolce & Gabbana, Jessica Biel in Prada)

I heard the film "Milk" won a lot of awards that it actually deserved.

Progress, pink money or both? What do you think?

Karl Lagerfeld Spotted Back in His Motherland!

2009-02-20T02:25:00.019+01:00

Karl Lagerfeld chatted up one of Bambi's friends in a shop near Weinmeisterstrasse U-Bahn station in Berlin's Mitte last week.

It's nice that Karl's spending a little time here in Berlin. Though it's his Muttersprache, his German is known to sound very bizarre. Other Germans explain it as muttery and nonsensical. Sounds about right.

Doesn't he belong in France? Or at the solarium?

Question: When Karl steps on into his afterlife, who will take his place as consistent and eccentric fashion legend? We at Sex and the Shitty voted Nicolas Ghesquiere a high candidate, whose work at Balenciaga is so modern it's almost other-wordly.

Can you think of someone better?

----------------------------------------------------------
Bambi Bradshaw's Picks of Karl & Nicolas' Latest:
(Pret a Porter Spring 2009)

Chanel

- All pieces with matching print.
- High waist with belly showing.
- Lovely shape.

Balenciaga

- The wholeness of the bodysuit look (note the lavendar thumbs and how the shoe blends into the leg)
- Superb and absolutley original combination of matte pastels and metallic mineral hues

- The pocket and double breasted single buttons look modern again
- Pants with crease down the middle
- The collar is simple, not showy

Gus Van Sant Spotted in Mitte Gay Bar!

2009-02-20T02:09:00.022+01:00

Film Director Gus Van Sant chatted to a Sex & The Shitty reader last week here in Berlin at a gay bar in Mitte.

(the blonde boy is another actor, not someone Van Sant picked up from Berlin indie-boy fag parties Berlin Hilton Boys or Schwuz' London Calling)

This photo above (snapped February 10th, 2009) proves Van Sant was in town for the Berlinale (Annual Berlin Film Festival for which Tilda Swinton is Jury President) to pick up some more awards for his latest film "MILK"
... but we think he really just came to town for the scat parties & darkrooms!!!

2 Annoying Celebrities in Berlin Today!

2009-02-19T15:31:00.011+01:00

Isla Fischer & Lady Gaga in Berlin For The Day

Met and interviewed by a friend of Bambi's who says though Fischer seemed like a sweetie in "Confessions of a Shopaholic," she acted like a total jerk and complete snob at the studio. As for Gaga, she showed up but didn't end up giving an interview. Fine, less work and more party for Bambi's friend.

(glad Isla didn't bring that idiot- i mean her fiancee- Borat, with her. she looks so much better without him!)

(lady gaga doing one of the most annoying model turned myspace hipster photos pose of the mid to late 2000's: hands on the waist, elbows out. Sorry, babes, but even if you saw that pose in Vogue, you are not Vogue-ing! we like the peach latex skirt in the second pic though)

Portable Party!!!

2009-02-17T21:03:00.013+01:00

Where have you been all my life?!

"The Evolution Mobile Bar takes five minutes or less to assemble from its suitcase-sized flat-packed state into a compact but mighty minibar..."

Read more here / oder hier in Deutsch.

Wonder if you can take it on RyanAir as hand luggage? OMFG! Even if you went somewhere with like NO parties, you'd have nothing to fear!

This Weekend's Tonsil Hockey Match!

2009-02-17T01:03:00.006+01:00

It looks like CPR! HELLO!

Mystery Panties Appear in Bambi's Home After Valentine's Weekend!

2009-02-17T00:39:00.013+01:00

FOUND!

-Purple American Apparel briefs with white trimming.
-Size Small.
-Elastic waist band clearly worn, but in mint condition.

Mysteriously showed up hanging in Bambi Bradshaw's shower after Valentine's Day weekend. Whose could they possibly be?

This is the photo of the actual underwear. If you are missing a pair like this or went home from someone's apartment this weekend without your purple panties, you can claim them from Bambi at sexunddiescheisse@gmail.com.

If these aren't your undies but you're willing to pay a little money for a pair of strangers underwear (sources say they belong to a 19 year old male fashion model), contact Bambi at e-mail address provided above. I'm sure she's willing to negotiate a price.

Found: Sex List in Bambi Bradshaw's Apartment!

2009-02-16T22:38:00.019+01:00

In the summer of 2008, a very naughty girl was staying in Bambi Bradshaw's flat while Bambi was on holiday. When Bambi returned, she soon realized things were completely awry:

1) Her laptop battery was forever kaputt; (and her computer was found lying open, thrown onto her bed)

2) The side of the washing machine was dented in and the front plastic cover had been ripped off (and was missing)

3) All the measuring cups were broken and crusty

4) Two of her teflon cupcake trays had been violently scratched with knives and still had marijuana brownie mix stuck to them.

5) The food she had in the fridge when she had left the country was still in there, a month later. All the food. Through that entire month, the fridge hadn't been opened once.

6) All of the beautiful plants (flowers, herbs, ferns) on the balcony (around 15 or 20 of them) were all dead. Every last one of them.

7) All plates and cups were broken, cracked or just plain missing.

8) The mailbox was stuffed with mail so Bambi had about a million overdue bills. (the only thing Bambi had asked, was for her to check the mail and water the plants)

9) There were two strange men in the house Bambi didn't know and empty wine glasses everywhere.

The house smelled like weed and cigarettes, there were plastic baggies, cigarettes and smoking papers and rolled up cash bills all over the floor, sofa and bed. There was white dust on any shiny surface. It was disturbing to see what had become ashtrays. This was reminiscent of her own life a couple of years prior, when mdma was always on the menu and anything shaped remotely concave was automatically overflowing with cigarette butts.

That girl left soon after Bambi got back last summer, but she left something behind, not to be found until yesterday, 7 months later.

Bambi just found either the girl's SEX LIST! (By studying the handwriting Bambi knows it was written by a friend of the girl's, but perhaps they were playing a game together and the friend was doing the writing).

Bambi, you really should clean out your apartment more often!
Here it is for you all to see:

SLUTTY & A HALF, oder!?

Congratulations to the first row, who's median age is 27.7:
Simon, Rikard Johnsson (41, WAY above her average age!), Joel, Barnet (means "The Baby" in Swedish), Dansken (means "The Danish" in Swedish), Johan, Norsken (means "The Norwegian" in Swedish), Truels.

And now for you boys in the second row:
David, Tommy, Ed, David, Alfred (19!), Niklas, Christian. 23.3?

Either the first row is people she fucked in Europe, and the second row people she fucked in North America. Or the first row is her summer flings and second row is her friend's summer flings!

Does anyone understand what's going on here!? (Or how to read sex math?!)

So... what's your average age?

Berlin DJ Loves Sick American Fast Food!

2009-02-16T21:43:00.005+01:00

SPOTTED!

Where: McDonalds. At Hermannplatz in the Neukölln neighborhood of Berlin.
When: Monday, February 16, 2009 between 7:55 and 8:03 p.m.
Who?

(Photo by B. Bradshaw. Saturday, January 31st, 2009.)

He left McD's with a big bag of goodies to go!
His haircut is so ... Medieval Chic

"Don't Shit Where You Eat"

2009-02-08T18:30:00.008+01:00

Dear Bambi,

I've been dumpster diving food out of this organic wholesaler's warehouse for about half a year now. It's really the jackpot.

The woman I've been tutoring in German for the past year has told me quite a bit about her life. Stories about her job, her office, her interests, her childhood, etc. I knew she was a buyer for an organic wholesaler, but I didn't in my wildest dreams imagine she was working IN AN OFFICE in the building where I go through the garbage weekly!

Why this Organic Company, Germany is full of them! She knows me as a briefcase-carrying-professional!

My question is this, Should I just stop getting food from the garbage where my client works even though its a gold mine?

What if she mentions that people are going through their garbage and asks for my advice? Should I just out myself??? How can I possibly be objective?

Thanks,
Paranoid in Berlin!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Paranoid in Berlin,

Hahaha! First of all, calm down. She doesn't know anything, it's only you who knows now. If this place really is the jackpot don't stop what you're doing. Not only are you saving money, but you're also helping reduce waste and landfill. We support it completely!

If she brings up dumpster diving, turn it into a little history lesson with a modern twist she might not expect:
"Gleaning is the act of collecting leftover crops from farmers' fields after they have been commercially harvested or on fields where it is not economically profitable to harvest. Some ancient cultures promoted gleaning as an early form of a welfare system. For example, ancient Jewish communities required that farmers not reap all the way to the edges of a field so as to leave some for the poor and for strangers. In a modern context, this can include the collection of food from supermarkets at the end of the day that would otherwise be thrown away." Maybe that'll make her think.

"Les Glaneurs et la glaneuse" ("The Gleaners and I") is a modern French documentary connecting gleaning and dumpster diving. If she has worked with organic foods for a decade, she will be open-minded enough to appreciate this concept.

On another note, out of all the things you do, isn't this probably the best of all evils? If you're reading Sex & the Shitty, I can imagine there are naughtier skeletons in your closet!

I was stumbling up the aisle of a night bus high on E with a friend and a 6 pack when I realized I was seated just next to one of my students. I somehow wormed my way out of the seat and crawled with my friend all the way to the back of the bus, sitting on the floor "out of sight." I was nervous as hell to see him after that, but I dressed and acted professional. Just like with most things in life, it's all about playing roles. Neither of us ever mentioned it.

Chances that she knows or will ever find out are slim to none.
Bon Appetit!

Worrell to be posing for Twink Life?

2009-02-06T01:07:00.006+01:00

Twink Life finally speaks about supermodel Luke Worrell, who they deem "Alterna Twink"

("Hand over your drag Mother's shoe, young man!"
- Yes, your majesty.)

When questioned if the *Alterna Twink* would be doing the rumored photo spread in Twink Life zine issue #6, a representative of the zine commented that it "could be true."

They also claim to have spotted Barely-Legal-Luke's fiance, 24 year old Kelly Osbourne, with a gang of underage boys at a famous London gay hot spot,
"She barged past the red rope and my party's bouncers to throw a nude picture of her 'BF' into our mitts, I don't know for sure what she was screaming as our bouncers had her on lock down but it sounded something like a frog mating call. Later that morning we received an email from a twink claiming to be her BF asking us if they could centerfold."
THEY?! :p

enamorados

(look at the image on his t-shirt. they are so gay!)

Whether we'll have the pleasure of seeing Worrell in the next issue of Twink Life is yet to be determined. In any case, T.L. believes "Luke is really pushing new twink ground" (in his relationship with Kelly).
(Click here to view previous post about Luke & Kelly where they're high on drugs and he's in heels!)

How sweet! TWINK SOLIDARITY!

Bi-Lateral Affairs

2009-02-03T18:36:00.031+01:00

Dear Ms. Bradshaw,

I have a big problem... I got lost in the Berlin nights again. Like so many times before. But last night something happened that could really change my future! I was very drunk on the dancefloor of this bigbadtechnoclub that we all hate. There was a guy and we started to kiss and stuff... you know... I don't have to go into details... Well pretty soon we're both sitting in a taxicab on the way to his bed.

I was so horny that I didn't even say goodbye to my friends... well ...
When we were sitting in this cab, we had to talk because I don't much like making out in front of a taxi driver. I always get paranoid and feel like I'm being watched but to come to the point the guy started to tell me about his life...
He was the Ambassador of Uruguay and pretty soon a picture came to my mind:

me as an ambassadors wife wearing prada, gucci and chanel at cocktailparties or flying with my privatejet from new york to tokyo for shopping or lying on south american beaches for superrich people ...
I don't have to say more, do I?

Well after that we had sex and the sex was really good I have to say and he told me more for example that in Uruguay there are living 30 million sheep and they even have sheep installations in their museum of modern art or that the whole country looks like a golf course.

Well the problem now is he is totally not my type of guy you know how it is when you're drunk and horny you wake up and think... "well i want to forget." I mean he's not ugly but... yeah...

Can you give me a hint what to do? Forget the thing? Or sell my soul? Get drunk again?

Yours sincerely,
Princess Conzuela

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Princess,

It's funny, I've actually heard the ambassador line before!
What to do:

INVESTIGATE!
Check the validity of his story. Wouldn't it be a shame if you hooked up with him again with hopes and illusions of being this ambassador's Chanel-wearing, UV-tainted wife just to find out he's a big nobody? Yes, it would!

If you find out he's not an ambassador
If his lies don't completely turn you off, use him for the good sex.
Sometimes we end up falling for the person we never imagined ourselves with. Maybe he'll grow on you. If he grosses you out, end it now. It doesn't mean you have to let go of this fantasy, NEVER STOP DREAMING!
& Sure, GET DRUNK AGAIN. Maybe your next "encounter" won't be rich like this one, but you could fulfill other fantasies with your newbie that aren't based on money, fame, & glamour.

He really is an Ambassador!
If he is in fact the Real Thing ask yourself what it's worth. Even if he's loaded and has the power to make your fantasy a reality, what if he won't and just keeps you hangin' on? Is he eager to spend money on you, treat you to dinner, buy you jewelry? If not, there's no reason to diddle daddle in his butt a second longer.

Don't wait around for some ambassador to change your future, sounds like you're ready for change and it's something you've got to do yourself!

I hope you write me back from the velvet sofa of a private jet plane, my dear, but if you don't, it's not the end of the world, not even the end of your world.

Saludos y hasta pronto!
Luv,
Bambi

Famous Artist Can't Live Without Weed

2009-02-02T21:18:00.015+01:00

A close friend happens to be working for a world-famous contemporary artist. Sex & the Shitty has the dirt & is more than happy to dish it!!!

The guy who has sold paintings to celebrities such as Elton John and Bianca Jagger can't even have a conversation with his teenage daughter without smoking weed first!

"He and his wife have a dozen extremely expensive computers, countless gadgets and a couple of BMW's but he's the biggest pothead I've ever met... and I guess that's saying a lot," she tells.

GET THIS !!! He had to extend his first class plane ticket home by several days after partying in Buenos Aires on New Years Eve! Several days?! What could possibly take that long to recover from while on holiday with your family?!

I wonder how much that extra first class ticket cost him, considering my friend gets paid 8€ per hour for her work! Not to mention, with the economy how it is, you could be broke as fast as you got famous. Riches to rags, honey! Maybe Elton John decides he doesn't like your work any more after all, then neither will anyone else! That's the art world for you!

Identity Bust: Bambi Bradshaw Does It Again!

2009-02-02T01:00:00.004+01:00

One of our first advice-seekers, Marcella Moreblow, who was featured in the article "Is it Possible to Be Jealous of Yourself?" has contacted Sex & the Shitty, releasing the photo of "myself making out with that blonde goddessboy whose name I don't even know, nor what his kisses taste like, nor what actually happened that night," as Marcella explained in his letter.

And I'll have to say, that really is some makeout, isn't it?

OK, let's cut to the chase! I referenced the 6 Degrees of Separation theory in advising Marcella to find this person he has a photo of but no physical memory of at all.

Try 1 Degree of Separation! When I saw the photo I realized I, Bambi Bradshaw, know this "blonde goddessboy," as Marcella refers to him! Not only do I know him, but I know quite a bit about him in fact!

Facts for you, Marcella:

He always has the stuff, babes! No need to search any longer!
He had sex with ONE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS, who is a girl. He's BI!
He has a hot gay brother. Like, on fire hot.
He wears a wedding ring, but if he's married he's terribly unfaithful!
He was on E all through his 24th birthday.
On the same birthday, I found his hidden birthday cakes and ate almost ALL of them!
He only has sex in German

But don't tell anyone I told you!

Oh, and P.S. about getting his telephone number, I can get it. Just write me at sexunddiescheisse@gmail.com.

You know you love me,
XOXO, BAMBI

For All The Techno Nerds!

2009-02-01T07:08:00.015+01:00

SPOTTED!

Minimal techno legend Richie Hawtin was spotted at Kottbusser Tor on Saturday, January 31st at 7:55 p.m. after just arriving from a gig in Tokyo a few days prior.

He was standing waiting for the U8 train headed toward Wittenau.

He seemed to be preoccupied with that little tuft of hair he has on top of his head. He kept patting it down and touching it repeatedly. He was also looking down at the ground, even while entering the train (after continuing to fix his hairdo in the window of the subway when it rolled up right before the doors opened) and looked a little insecure. Maybe he was in the middle of a massive comedown.

He was wearing all black (a great black leather jacket with some fringe) and had a huge black duffel bag with him. Mysterious.

Listen to Richie "Less is More" Hawtin at:
Richie's MySpace Page
or
Last FM's Richie Page

Cupcake Krieg!

2009-01-28T11:47:00.016+01:00

Drama just always seems to follow us... everywhere!
Even across town to the seemingly innocent, cute little cupcake shop!
That's right, Dirty Dirty Drama is Going Down at the Cupcake Shop!!!
& We didn't even have to dig for it. A stranger just started dishing all the dirt! We're a shit-talking magnet!

Once upon a time, a sweet little shop called "Cupcake" happily opened and was doing wonderfully. Then one day, a suspicious woman entered the shop. She was especially enthusiastic, friendly, talkative (eww, you know the type). A little too enthusiastic, perhaps...

She asked how the cakes were made, with which ingredients. Did they use a prepackaged box powder or a secret homemade recipe? She sat down at one of their tables, writing and writing in this little notebook of hers. She was clearly up to no good!

And little did the people at "Cupcake" know that a couple of months later "Cupcake Bakery" would proudly open. How very interesting! It's bigger than "Cupcake" and in the center of town. You can make your own conclusions from the following evidence:

1. The name
Sure, same name. "Cupcake," just with the word "Bakery" added. But it doesn't stop there!

2. The website
Cupcake's web address is cupcakeberlin.de, Cupcake Bakery's web address is cupcakeberlin.com.

And no, it doesn't even stop there!

3. The menu
She must've been taking diligent notes, because the menu is ~~exactly the same~~ uncannily similar!
The source of all this dirt found out the owner of "Cupcake Bakery," American Ashley Berger, is using the same recipes as the original "Cupcake" and has even named some of "her" cupcakes with the same names and decorated them like fucking cupcake clones!

What a "Cupcaker" explained happened next:
They put down their hot pads and electric beaters and made a little trip across town to pay new "Cupcake Bakery" a little visit. One step inside and WHO is standing behind the counter?! None other than that very curious woman with the little notebook!!!

They must have felt like they were in a bad dream!

When confronted, Ashley first denied ever being inside "Cupcake"! THEN, when asked what she had been writing down in that little notebook with the "Cupcake" menu open wide right in front of her she replied "I was writing a letter," thus admitting she had in fact been inside of "Cupcake!"

OMFG!!!

This is like the real life version of Mr. Slugworth & Willy Wonka!

goodVSevil!

Underwear Line or No Underwear At All?

2009-01-27T21:28:00.008+01:00

"Sehr geehrte Frau Bradshaw,

Hilfe! I work in the mall at a clothing shop and I've been invited to a work party this Saturday night. I really think it's time for them to see me in something a little more 'me,' so I've decided to wear my New Years Eve outfit, without the pearl drop earrings, don't wanna go too far, darling.

The problem is that the pants are black PVC/latex style stretch pants and I desperately need to know which looks worse:

1. A Visible underwear line
2. No underwear at all

I made out with the colleague who is hosting the party at last year's work Christmas party. It's his goodbye party from work, so I wanna look easy but hard to get, certainly not cheap or tacky if you get what look I mean? I know you're busy but please write me back as soon as you can!

Liebe Grüsse,
Maurice aus Berlin

***

Liebe Maurice,

Thank you for your e-post.

A work party (isn't that an oxymoron?) is still a party and of course you want to look fabulous! You are gonna shine on Saturday!

Stretch pants can be tricky.

If the stretchpants are cotton, an underwear line isn't necessarily tacky. But if you are going to wear something like PVC or latex, DO NOT WEAR UNDERWEAR unless you are going to be self-conscious about it all night.

The reasoning is this: It's disturbing when something loud or extreme is worn and hushed at the last minute by an insecure coverup ensemble. The key is not to look insecure! If you feel insecure, you have to change the source of it, not try to conceal it.
Think about concealing zits. They almost always look better without makeup, because it's better a good old fashioned zit than a zit with weird colored paint over it.

Your exciting pants paired with a white top and matching white shoes sounds like "easy but hard to get" perfection. Do smoky eyes & make sure your hair is shiny.

Oh, and bring those pearl earrings along to make your outfit "classier" later. I have a feeling your night isn't going to end at the work party & you'll be feeling a little feistier after a few drinks!

Viel Spass!

Up Close with Another One of Westwood's Buttboys

2009-01-26T01:21:00.011+01:00

We're having another Wizard of Oz moment!

After going all the way to Oz, Dorothy realizes, "If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard."

In other words: Why write about Luke Worrell when WE ALREADY KNOW ONE OF VIVIENNE WESTWOOD'S BUTTBOYS PERSONALLY!

Bambi Bradshaw reports:

"Last autumn I was harvesting with Californian model-pothead-twink turned weed-expert-and-father. He initiated conversation by likening my hair to that of Vivienne Westwood, then proceeded to spill the beans about his relationship with Schmivienne...

They first met in Milan in the summer of 2006 where he was modelling for numerous shows, one of which happened to be for Westwood.

"How was Milan? Dude. Sat in the Duomo square, you know, smoking weed with strangers, dude. You been there? Yeah, Milan's tight. Random people were always smokin' me out."

Wonder if one of those "random" people was Frau Westwood herself? Wonder if she pays her male models in drugs & sex?

(Where all the magic happened. Look at all those stoners! Who knew?)

During harvest time, aforementioned male model was asked to look up the word "patriarchy" in the dictionary in the middle of an argument about oppression. When everyone laughed he responded, "Duh! I get it, I get it. There's no such word! You just want me to look up a word that doesn't even exist! I'd be searchin' forever. Good one, dude, good one. Didn't get me this time."

Zoolander never felt more realistic. Wonder if Vivienne had him ball gagged to match the clothes?

Practical and Fashion Forward!

Premiere!

2009-01-23T15:04:00.008+01:00

Welcome to Sex & the Shitty! Please, pour yourself a glass of complementary Rotkäppchen & get ready to enjoy this fabulous shitty city!

We are thrilled to announce that this is just the beginning!
Bookmark sexandtheshitty for frequent updates from your one and only source into the extra-terrestrial lives of twinks, superstars, & yes, your neighbors!

And remember, if you are in need of advice of any kind, just write Bambi Bradshaw! You can ask her absolutley anything at sexunddiescheisse@gmail.com. She will publish your letter along with her expert advice.

Cheers to our future together from all of us here at Sex & the Shitty!

Is it Possible to be Jealous of Yourself?

2009-01-20T03:01:00.001+01:00

Dear Bambi Bradshaw,

Recently I was going through my internet photoalbum and was suddenly surprised when I found some totally hot pictures of myself making out with that blonde goddessboy whose name I don't even know, nor what his kisses taste like, nor what actually happened that night. First I was very excited about this unexpected discovery but suddenly got very mad and angry at this person in that picture, which was nobody else than me myself, because he obviously had such a good time with that hot boy!

It's maddening to face that I right now in this moment don't even have his bloody telephone number and will probably never see him again in my life. Is it possible to be jealous of yourself? And if yes how can I avoid this in the future?
Oh, and how do I get his bloody telephone number?

Thanx alot
Yours,
Marcella Moreblow

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Marcella,

My, my, my. So many questions to answer! I found your letter stuffed into my mini backpack when I woke up at 5 p.m. this afternoon. I lost my wallet, keys, and drugs, but your letter made it. Congratulations!

Yes, it is possible to be jealous of yourself.
I'm jealous of myself when I think about all my hot intrigues from the past. There's one in particular that involves seducing a cute blonde Dutch twink with cheek dimples.

Becoming jealous of yourself is a sign some things may not be right in your life.
Is there anything you are really dissatisfied with? Also, figure out what triggers this jealousy. If it floods you mostly after looking at past photographs, you must always remember that photos give a sense everything is perfect. It's the ethereal image that's so attractive, not the reality. Try to remember what you were doing when the photo was taken. Most likely things were not as perfect as they look, or as fun.

Are you confusing jealousy with remorse?
I'd had a crush on someone for months and when we finally made out I didn't remember a single second of it. In fact, if my friends hadn't told me I still wouldn't know. Then it happened twice more and I don't remember those times either. I felt so much remorse after!

If you really want to avoid ending up with photos of yourself making out with people you've never seen or met before, stop getting so damn pissed drunk when you go out. Don't mix different types of alcohol. Try to stick to one type of liquor all night or beer or wine, not an orgy of them all. Drink plenty of water before you go out and don't forget to eat something heavy, fatty, and/or nutritious before going out. I imagine you'll skip past this paragraph of advice, but I really have to mention it anyway.

An event is enjoyed in two ways:
1. In the moment
2. Through the memory
Though the memory keeps the magic of the moment somewhat alive, what really matters isn't what you remember, it's those few seconds (or minutes, or hours depending on the case) when you were living so much in that moment and really enjoying life first-hand.

Even though its blacked out in your mind doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Think about how much fun you must've been having when that photo was taken. Maybe you were appreciating it to the fullest when it was happening, you just don't remember that either. You should be proud of yourself for being able to let go, some people will never have the strange pleasure of seeing themself with their tongue down the throat of a person they don't know.

Getting his telephone number...

If the 6 degrees of separation theory is correct, all you should have to do is open the photo of you and this boy in Paint or in Photoshop, write "Wer bist du, cutie?" and your telephone number and post it up in the place the photo was taken (if you can remember where you were) and definitely on all internet communities you may be a member of. If he doesn't see it surely someone who knows him will recognize him. It is a small world after all. If for some reason you don't end up getting his phone number, I'm sure you can find someone who looks just like him to replace him in a heartbeat.

Go get 'em, cowboy!

All my best,
Bambi

Hot Twink Goss!

2009-01-19T22:57:00.009+01:00

Kelly Osbourne, 24, hot daughter of bat eating metal legend Ozzy Osbourne, is banging an 18 year old twink!

Who's the top? Who's the bottom? Who cares!
They're HOT.

New Years Eve '08/'09: His pupils are HUGE (look at his clenched jaw!) & her smile just screams "I love chemicals and cute twink ass!"

What we know about him:

1. He & Kelly were reportedly married in an inflatable castle at Electric Picnic Festival in Ireland summer 2008.

2. He was already Vivienne Westwood's buttboy when he was only 17!

3. He looks (and feels) great topless in heels!

Upcoming photo spread with London based Twink Life zine has been rumoured, we are still waiting for T.L. to confirm it's legitimacy. (Oh, we hope, hope, hope it's true!) In the meantime visit Twink Life at www.twinklife.tk

So, do you think Kelly's got a cyberskin strap-on or goes more organic?

Nothing Great about "Depression Chic"

2009-01-15T20:15:00.025+01:00

"The collections were hijacked by headlines of impending economic doom, but credit crisis or not, the shows went on."

WHAT ???

Yes, according to www.style.com "depression chic" is number one of five key looks for Spring 2009, "Who needs economists? With an insight that's downright uncanny, designers worked both sides of the crash of 1929."

I don't think spending a hundred thousand € on a gown is very financial crisis chic at all.

But it's not just at style.com. The New York Post publishes an article entitled,
"A Touch of Crash: Depression-Era Chic"

"Taking a cue from the grim economy, this fall's fashions at Banana Republic, Gap and H&M are featuring a distinctly Depression-era trend...," explains the magazine.
YEAH, RIGHT!!!

"Adrien Vanderlinden, 41, loved the look-as-social-commentary, 'It's totally appropriate given the pessimistic mood of the economy,' the Upper West Side project manager said. 'The vest references the three-piece Wall Street suit, the loose pants are like the dropped hemlines of the late '30s, and there's no bling'." So Upper West Side project manager loves "depressive" fashion as social commentary? If we're measuring in ridiculous, this is coming close to Zoolander's "Derelicte"! (Mugatu's "homeless chic" collection)

The looks style.com deemed "depression chic" we only saw as light-hearted
Fringe, Lace, Minimalism, Futuristic Flapper.

We find the look below Southern Belle gone slightly fetish and borderline Dust Bowl chic... But not "depression chic."

Click here to see what's so (not) depressing!

"Josh - I mean Paul Rudd - in Berlin today!"

2009-01-15T14:53:00.006+01:00

LIKE, OH MY GOD! Josh from Clueless, a.k.a. Paul Rudd, was in Berlin today! Info directly from one of Bambi's friends, who met him briefly with a handshake.
He was wearing a beard scruffy enough for Berlin's best fag bars, and we have to agree:

Looks like he's really drifted away from the days of making out with his step-sister...

(He's reading Nietzsche by the pool)

If seeing this face makes you nostalgic, there's even a Josh from Clueless fan site called "Butt Crazy in Love!"

AS IF! :p

Is Honesty the Last True Taboo?

2009-01-14T17:59:00.003+01:00

Last Saturday, 3 a.m.:

Two friends and I ended up at this massive cellar with decent techno music. We missed our friend's performance by a millisecond. A miss is as good as a mile!

After getting attacked by paparazzi at one of the bars, I made myself comfortable on a black faux-leather sofa near the dancefloor. As I was stirring my cocktail to the techno beat, my friend Rasmus, who had been M.I.A. since we got there, plopped down beside me with a distraught look on his face.

His arm was around me, his eyes all over the men on the dance floor, but his mind was clearly somewhere else, "Babes, so I was just in the bathroom with Thierry. We had just done a couple lines you know, the mood was romantic and we were making out... then he just started rimming me."

He tried to shout over the music, "I wanted to enjoy it, but all I could feel was the pressure of an impending diarrhea explosion... which I was so sure would ensue at any moment! I just couldn't tell him, and I didn't want him to think I wasn't enjoying it, so I just stood there letting him go to town, trying with all my strength to control my bowels." He visibly cringed as music pumped hard in the background, "It was terrible!"

As Rasmus relayed his sad story to me, I couldn't help but wonder, is honesty the last taboo?
If you have the nerve to get your ass licked in "public," you should be bold enough to tell this person to stop for a minute, while you do your business. Not just stand there in misery because its unsexy or too scary to be honest.

Just how many of us are having sex with people we aren't honest with? Scattered all over our city are places where we can fulfill many of our own desires. This extent of out-ness would not have been possible even a couple of decades ago. We have unlocked our bodies, but our minds are still weighed down by shame, embarrassment and insecurity. Are we too blinded by the assurance of how "free" our bodies are to notice our voices, wants, and needs are still in bondage?

When you can't get your honesty up, think in terms of B.C.S... you know, Best Case Scenario.
When it comes to enjoying life, have enough respect for yourself and for the other person(s) to get out of an uncomfortable situation. Why suffer?

"Rasmus," I said, "You don't have to tell him exactly what's going on. Next time tell him you desperately need to dance. Get him dancing or talking to someone, then make a b-line for the toilet and do what you need to do. Then you can get your sexy ass back on the dance-floor, pressure free. Don't worry, there's all the time in the world to continue what you had to postpone (that French kiss with a Berlin twist). And on that note, I'm going to the fucking dance-floor. What am I doing sitting here talking to you?"